( Well, that's what she said? )

I'm so glad I'm home.

The Big Lipped Alligator is a trope!

I am so happy right now! You have no idea!

I'm wondering if I shouldn't break this up into multiple posts.

Okay, so, about two weeks ago I left New York forever and drove across the country. I suppose I could go into detail on that, but someone hasn't given me the pictures from the party yet. But I'll just give the abbreviated trip. First I drove nine hours to Columbus and picked up calger459, and then we drove the remaining six hours to Chicago and stayed with Doug and his family. As I was very tired, I was very incoherent. Hopefully they will forgive me.

( Chicago with the Walkers )

So basically our plan was to collaborate on a review of Fern Gully, which starts out with us fighting over who gets to review it, as we each have our own agenda regarding the movie. Hopefully it'll turn out alright and not too... weird. It does get a little weird (accordion and Tim Curry transvestism does get involved).

But then I talked them into filming a feedback segment based on me and Doug going on a date and having nothing to talk about but nostalgic things. I think that one will actually be rather brilliant.

( Feet. )

Okay, so then the rest of the trip was basically a large slice of wasteland followed by a small slice of Colorado and then another HUGE slice of wasteland. Don't ever go to Utah. I'll spare you most of it, but know this:

( Cock. )
And mention needs to be given to the most epic banana in the history of bananas. I ate a banana in Nebraska and tossed it out the window. Well, a portion of it wasn't ready to say goodbye yet, and did cling to the wheel of my bicycle.

( Banana. )

I'll go ahead and do the rest of the last couple of weeks in a separate post.

And by "we" I mean "the history of human civilization".

Okay, so a few weeks ago we were at long last watching Alien vs. Predator with adjectivegirl. See, now muneybags6 and I like this movie, campy piece of violence that it is, because we like the female main, the way the fodder characters were developed (better than non-fodder characters in most movies), and hey, Predator's just a pimp. But then, the plot point about the pyramids of the world and how aliens built them pops up, and Sherry goes, hey, why do we never give ourselves credit for those pyramids? Wherefore comst the aliens in the grand scheme of pyramid? Those are our fucking pyramids, man. Just nab you a couple million slaves and some nearby stone quarries and boom- pyramids. Now this is hardly limited to AVP, aliens having something to do with building pyramids, seems to be a thing, but hardly an original thing, right?

Well Michael Bay has not had his say yet! C'mon, guys! Why don't you give us cred for those damn pyramids? Those Egyptians were a pretty smart lot! Right fuckers sometimes, sure, but I'm sure they could come up with at least a damn pyramid.

But wait, there's more! This according to the last issue of Empire:

Egyptian hieroglyphics ...turn out to be depictions of Transformers who visited Earth.

WhatwhatWHAT? Okay, guys, really now. First you take our Macs and say they're copied off Megatron. Okay, fine, at least that explains away any Independence Day-style plot devices. But then you take our pyramids away from us- again- and now you're taking written language? Possibly the greatest achievement of the civilized human mind? Michael Bay and large sect of humanity, why don't you give us credit for our ape brains? I don't recall ever seeing that heiroglyph that looks like a semi! Or maybe they transformed into owls and little squiggles of water back in the day, who knows? Alls I know is between this and SaberJew, summer 2009 cannot come fast enough!

Edit: witchtree had this to contribute:

In 4 days, 18 hours, 3 minutes and 48 seconds I start my journey across the country. The three-thousand mile journey across the cracked wasteland that is this country...

Give me music and stuff!

Eartha Kitt dies today at 81.

I'm never one really to give a shit about celebrity deaths, but this one really hits me hard. I didn't even know she was sick.

Bon voyage, Eartha. You were one of the greats.

But here she is!



Keep an eye out for ink_n_imp getting the tar beaten out of her, sirenofaverne running from the horror of the shoes, and bpdermody being, as he put it, several types of brutish man.

Number one, this happened:



Number two: The Day The Earth Stood Still got remade. Big 'ol rebuttal here at the (real) blog about the meaning of life and Keanu Reeves.

Now my service to the Dark One is complete...

Well, in the grand tradition of practicality, as I'm about to move across the country (and am extra-poor) some have asked for instruction as to what might be a good idea, and I was planning on getting most of these things before leaving, so if you want to take a looksee, here's some of the Christmas things (and birthday) that would make me go "awwww".

( Thiiiinngs )

Bratz dolls... are no more.

No, they're gone. GONE. Forever! No more Bratz after December! Mattel, you sweet, simple, glorious, wonderful... I could kiss your shining, corporate ass! I... thank you. Thank you.

And I love this bitch... a little too much.



Damn, she's tall.

Here's another dramatic reading by sirenofaverne for bpdermody's LJ meme poem that all the cool kids are doing. ALL the cool kids.

You like my Masterpiece Theater voice? *hacks up lung*

Put your mp3 player thingy on shuffle, and write down the first line of the first twenty songs. Post the poem that results.

You say yes, I say no,
Bye bye love, bye bye happiness,
JoJo was a man who thought he was a loner,
Motorcars, handlebars, bicycles for two,

Child's pose, please, hips back to your heels,
Johnny's in America, low-techs at the wheel,
Never thought I'd live to be old enough,
Well, I've got to run to keep from hiding,

He's a rich boy, but he doesn't spend,
The world is a vampire sent to drain,
Come on babe, why don't we paint the town?
Georgia, Georgia, the whole day through,

Too long, too long, too long, too long,
When I was a fair maid, about seventeen,
Is it a sin, is it a crime?
You're just too good to be true,

Trailers for sale or rent,
Oh marie, oh marie, in your arms I'm longing to be,
Manamana, doot doooo dododoo
Yes, we have no bananas

Edit: And now enjoy the dramatic reading by sirenofaverne , BA.

Can anyone tell me what font this is? It's something really simple but it's escaping me...

Also, goodbye, roach. Hello, maus.

singealiene: *listening to "Bitches Ain't Shit"*
sirenofaverne: Bitches ain't shit but ho's and... what?
singealiene:Tricks.
sirenofaverne: So, basically he doesn't believe in true love.
singealiene:...
sirenofaverne: Basically he's undermining the sincerity of the notion of love. He considers these bitches beneath him, because he's been burned by too many bitches. That's the basic jist I get from the number.

What is the name of the song she's using under this? It's some game show, and I needs it!

Ralph Nader? I won't say I'm not bitter about the 2000 election, but seriously, fuck you.



Uncle Tom...